very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
