went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
