Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize