also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
