farters have to be the big spoon...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
