period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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