Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize