Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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