toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
