Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
