dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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