Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
