Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im six kinds of drunk right now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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