apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
