Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
