first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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