my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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