I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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