i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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