Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
