...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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