So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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