I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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