DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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