Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
