dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
