he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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