hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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