I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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