just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
