I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Of course I have a pirate flag
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
