on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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