it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize