I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
