I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
