After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
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