dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
