I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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