i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
