I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think i got beer on your cat.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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