on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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