i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
