actually, I'm a sock model
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
