Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize