awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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