I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
