I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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