Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
