How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
