I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
