I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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