idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
