nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
