I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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