so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize