his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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